Commit to the Church: Rescue Lovingly

I recently preached a sermon series called Commit at my church on what biblically committed church membership looks like. This post is based off of the tenth sermon in that series.

Sermon Text: Matt 18:15-20

Tough love. Hard love. You probably know what I mean when I say those phrases.

• A coach is hard on his players because he wants them to play well.
• A teacher loves her students by holding them to high standards.
• A military officer pushes his soldiers to the limits so that they will be ready on the day of battle.
• A mother lovingly disciplines her children to keep them from harm.

Probably all of us have been on the receiving end of some tough love. Even though the tough love (or we might say discipline) wasn’t pleasant at the time, we can look back and see how those situations helped us grow in maturity. This is exactly what the Bible teaches in Hebrews 12.

Heb 12:11

For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

While we recognize the need for discipline in academics, athletics, parenting, and on the battlefield, we often ignore the importance of discipline within the church. The Bible says, “The Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives” (Heb 12:6; Pro 3:12).

Today, we continue our sermon series called Commit, which is about committed church membership. We have seen in Acts 2 that after committing to Christ, the early Christians also committed to one another. That is the pattern we see throughout the New Testament. People hear the gospel. They are converted to Christ and baptized. Upon their baptism, they join a local church and commit to the people of that congregation. That is God’s plan for every Christian.

Today, I am going to talk about something you won’t hear about in many churches. I am going to speak about the need to rescue those who are caught in sin. Maybe you have heard it called church discipline. Most pastors don’t speak about church discipline because they don’t want to offend their members and attenders. But God’s Word speaks to this issue repeatedly^[1]Matt 18:15-20; 1 Cor 5; 2 Cor 2:5-11; Gal 6:1-2; Eph 5:11; 1 Thess 5:14; 2 Thess 3:6-15; 1 Tim 5:19-20, 2 Tim 3:5, Titus 3:9-11 and it is an aspect of discipleship and Christian fellowship that we cannot ignore.

My hunch is that most churches today don’t obey the Bible’s teaching on church discipline for one of three reasons:

1. The church doesn’t know what the Bible teaches about church discipline.
2. The church doesn’t want to be seen as judgmental.
3. The church doesn’t understand what it means to biblically love someone.

This message builds on last’s week’s message about biblical fellowship. I said last week that we are not called to share a pew with one another but to share our lives with one another. I don’t know if you’ve figured it out by now, but people are messy. Philippians 1:6 says that God began a good work in us, and he will bring it to completion. The implication is that we haven’t arrived yet. None of us will be perfect in this life. Even though we have a new nature, we are still at war with the flesh.

If it follows that we still struggle with sin, then what happens when a believer is caught in sin? I’m not talking about every time a believer sins. We all sin every day. I’m talking about when a believer becomes hardened or desensitized to sin and then entangled in sin. What are we do to in that situation? The Bible gives us very clear instructions. If you would, turn to Matthew 18.

Literary Context

As I get started today, I want to give you a little bit of the context of our passage. Immediately preceding our passage (Matt 18:10-14), Jesus spoke of a shepherd who leaves his 99 sheep to find one that has went astray. Just after our passage (Matt 18:21-35), Jesus spoke a parable about the need for us to forgive those who have sinned against us. So, that’s the context.

We are to be a people that extend grace to those who truly repent and ask for forgiveness. We are to be forgiving people and people that rejoice when a sinner returns to the fold. But we also must challenge those who are willfully living in sin. We must challenge those who love their sin more than Christ.

With that in mind, let’s read our text together.

Matthew 18:15-20

15 “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector. 18 Truly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth shall be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth shall be loosed in heaven. 19 Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them.”

BIG IDEA: We must seek to lovingly rescue those caught in sin and be willing to discipline those who refuse to repent.

The first thing we see in this text is that sin must be confronted.

Church discipline is necessary because sin must be confronted (15-17)

We see in this text is that Jesus cares how we live. When someone decides to follow Christ, he no longer lives for himself. Rather, he is to deny himself, take up his cross, and follow Christ. Thus, when someone is living in sin, he is to be confronted.

Jesus says in v. 15, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother.” Sometimes people see the phrase “against you” and claim that you can only confront someone’s sin if they sin directly against you. I think the people making this claim are making too much of this detail. Notice what Paul says in Galatians 6:1-2.

Gal 6:1-2

Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.

Paul doesn’t say only confront those who have sinned against you. He says, “If anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness.” I think when most people in the church hear the word “church discipline” they think of someone watching over their back just waiting for them to mess up so they can confront them. But Paul’s language here in Galatians also helps us clarify what is meant. Paul talks about someone that is “caught” in transgression.

This seems to indicate that sin should be confronted when it is outward and serious. Sin should be confronted when it’s something that has an outward manifestation. We cannot know if someone has lust in their heart. We can know if someone is living in sexual immorality. We can see someone’s browser history. We can observe that they are living a homosexual or transgender lifestyle. We can know if someone is living in adultery. Those things are observable.

Second, sin must be serious. As a church, we are not seeking to tattle tell on every person. Rather, we are seeking to save someone from destroying their own lives, the lives of their family, and the testimony of Christ and our church.

We can call one another to repentance over smaller sins, but these outward and serious sins are the kind that may lead to someone being removed from the church.

You may be wondering, what is the point of this? Aren’t we supposed to be a church that is about grace? Of course, we are to extend grace but at the same time, when Jesus saves us, he calls us to live holy lives. Jesus saves us not just from the penalty of sin but also from the power of sin. We are to not to let sin reign in our mortal bodies (Rom 6:12). At its root, correcting sin in the church is about the holiness of God.

When someone is living in open and serious sin, Jesus calls us to lovingly correct them. That’s what we see in vv. 15-17. Notice the process.

Step 1: Go to your brother (or sister) alone and tell him his fault. If he listens and repents, then the process ends there. You have “gained your brother” (15).

Step 2: If your brother (or sister) does not listen, take one or two others with you “that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses” (16). Jesus quotes from Deuteronomy 19:15. Churches are to go to great lengths to make sure that the evidence is sure and that facts are appropriately gathered. God cares about justice, and those involved should move slowly, thoughtfully, and graciously through the process.

Step 3: If it’s clear that your brother (or sister) is guilty of open and serious sin and still refuses to repent then the matter is to be taken to the church.

Step 4: If your brother (or sister) refuses to listen to the church, then Jesus says, “Let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector” (17). In other words, we are to treat this person like an unbeliever because he or she is acting like one. Any true believer, when confronted by the truth of God’s Word will conform their lives to it.

Obedience to God’s Word distinguishes true and false believers. True believers will change their life when confronted with God’s truth. False converts will make excuses to justify their sinful behavior.

Obedience to God’s Word distinguishes true and false believers. True believers will change their life when confronted with God’s truth. False converts will make excuses to justify their sinful behavior.

I want to make a few remarks about this process. Once again, the sins that lead to removal from the church (excommunication) are open, serious, and unrepented of. Ultimately, what leads to removal from the church is that the professing Christian refuses to repent of his sin. He loves his sin more than Jesus and this is impossible for any true believer. The question we should ask is this: does the person repeatedly refuse to repent to the point that his profession of faith has become unbelievable? Here are some examples:

• Adultery
• Pornography
• Homosexuality
• Transgenderism
• Fornication
• Drunkenness and drug abuse
• Theft/stealing
• Abuse of spouse and children
• Unbiblical divorce^[2]I know there are varying positions but at the very least every Christian should be able to agree that the only cases in which divorce may be permissible are sexual unfaithfulness, abandonment, or … Continue reading
• Members who refuse to attend church for an extended period
• Etc.

It’s impossible to list every situation but remember that church discipline is necessary when someone is caught in sin – sin that is open (people know about it), serious, and unrepented of. This process is to be done carefully and with much prayer. Most of the time, it will take multiple months to complete. Another thing we see throughout this process is that the circle is to be kept as small as possible. First, one goes privately. Second, take one or two others. Telling the church is a final resort. The goal is not to shame the sinner but to restore him as quietly as possible. That brings us to our second point.

The goal of church discipline is to rescue sinners (15, cf. 10-14, 21-35)

The goal of church discipline is not retribution but to rescue. Church discipline is a rescue mission! In doing so, we emulate Jesus. Jesus came to seek and to save the lost (Luke 19:10). Like the Chief Shepherd, we are to seek to rescue sheep that have gone astray (Matthew 18:10-14). We see in verse 15 that if a brother repents, Jesus says, “You have gained your brother.” In other words, he has been saved from the sinful path he was on.

Church discipline is a rescue mission!

We see the same thing in 1 Corinthians 5.

1 Cor 5:1-5

It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father’s wife. 2 And you are arrogant! Ought you not rather to mourn? Let him who has done this be removed from among you.

3 For though absent in body, I am present in spirit; and as if present, I have already pronounced judgment on the one who did such a thing. 4 When you are assembled in the name of the Lord Jesus and my spirit is present, with the power of our Lord Jesus, 5 you are to deliver this man to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved in the day of the Lord.

In this situation, a man was committing sexual sin with his mother or stepmother. In verse 2, Paul says this man needs to be removed from the church. But notice in verse 5 the goal: this man was to be delivered to Satan so that his spirit may be saved. This means that the Corinthians were to remove him from the church so that he will be confronted with his sin. In other words, don’t treat this man like he’s a Christian. Treat him like an unbeliever because he is living like one (1 Cor 6:9-10).

This text confronts us with the reality that it’s not loving to let someone continue in their sin. So often, we think that a person’s faith is a private matter. Someone’s marriage is a private matter. The reality is that when someone joins a church, how they live their lives is a church matter.

Consider the following situations:

John has been experiencing pain in his chest. He goes to the doctor and tells him of his symptoms. The doctor does some tests and realizes that John has severe blockage. The doctor knows that without surgery and lifestyle changes that John will die. However, the doctor doesn’t want to upset the family, so he pretends like everything is fine and gives John a good report. John dies two months later of a heart attack.

Bill has been experiencing pain in his chest. He goes to his doctor and tells him of his symptoms. Like John, Bill has severe blockage and will die if he doesn’t have surgery and change his lifestyle. Bill’s doctor immediately tells Bill the truth so that Bill can be saved. Bill has the surgery and changes his lifestyle. He lives for twenty more years.

Which doctor was more loving? It’s obvious that the second doctor was more loving. Can I tell you something? Sin has far greater consequences than heart blockage. A heart attack will send you to the grave. A life of sin will send you to hell.

A life of sin will send you to hell.

Pro 27:6

Faithful are the wounds of a friend;
Profuse [deceitful] are the kisses of an enemy.

The faithful and loving friend is someone that is willing to wound you in the short term so that you can be saved in the long term. The person that pretends everything is okay when it’s not doesn’t really love you.

Consider another verse from Proverbs.

Proverbs 13:24

Whoever spares the rod hates his son,
    but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.

Do we really believe this? Do we believe what the Bible says about truth, correction, and discipline? If we do, we must lovingly confront sinners with the goals of repentance and restoration in mind.

Church discipline is necessary because sin must be confronted. The goal of church discipline is to rescue sinners. Third, church discipline is administered by the church under the authority of Christ.

Church discipline is administered by the church under the authority of Christ (17-20)

We see in verse 17 that the church has the authority to determine its membership. It’s not the elders (pastors) or the deacons that can remove someone from the church. Only the gathered church has the authority to remove members.

In verses 18-20, Jesus gives authority to the unified church to discipline a professing believer who has sinned grievously and yet refuses to repent. I want to give you some caution about vv. 19-20. To say that God will do whatever two or more believers ask is to violate the context of the passage. The context of the passage is about dismissing an unrepentant sinner or restoring a remorseful sinner back to the fold. The two or three mentioned in vv. 19-20 refers to the two or three in v. 16. Thus, in these verses, Jesus is teaching that he is present with his disciples and his church when they seek to correct and restore those caught in sin.

Conclusion

I know that church discipline is not practiced in most churches. Perhaps you’ve never seen it done in our church or any other. Maybe you’ve never heard of it before today. I encourage you to read the Scripture passages I’ve given you on the back of today’s bulletin.^[3]See footnote 1. Read those verses in context and you’ll get a fuller picture of church discipline.

I want to finish today by encouraging us to think through why practicing church discipline is so important.

First, we want to honor Christ. He has commanded us to lovingly pursue sinners. We pursue the lost by preaching the gospel. We are to pursue those who are missing from our church and those who may be present but are living in unrepentant sin.

Second, we want to protect our corporate witness. We should not be a church full of hypocrites. We are not perfect, but we should be committed to following Christ by obeying what he commands. Because Baptist churches believe that true Christians cannot lose their salvation, some Christians think that Baptists are grace abusers. They think we believe that because we can’t lose our salvation that we can live any way we want. Of course, this is a lie from hell. Churches that refuse to confront sin are lying about the gospel and the world sees our hypocrisy. If the gospel is powerful enough to save us, then it is powerful enough to change us. The gospel that saves is the gospel that transforms us.

If the gospel is powerful enough to save us, then it is powerful enough to change us. The gospel that saves is the gospel that transforms us.

Third, we care about our corporate health. If your body is sick, you treat the sickness. If the body of the church is sick, we must treat it. If left unchecked, unrepentant sin will tear families and churches apart. Consider Paul’s words from 1 Corinthians 5.

1 Cor 5:6-7a

Do you not know that a little leaven leavens the whole lump? 7 Cleanse out the old leaven that you may be a new lump, as you really are unleavened.

Those words were written immediately after Paul told the Corinthian church to hand the man caught in sin over to Satan. A little leaven leavens the whole lump.

Fourth, we care about the straying sinner. We love the one caught in sin enough to tell him the truth. We would rather confront him with hard truth than let him go to hell by loving his sin. It’s not loving to let a sinner ruin his life, his family’s life, and to put stain on the reputation of Christ and the local church.

The Lord disciplines those he loves. Do we believe it?

Are we convinced that holiness is better than sinfulness?

Do we love one another enough to have hard conversations?

Do we love one another enough to practice tough love?

Will we graciously forgive and restore those who repent of their sin?

Are we willing to love with God’s love and not the world’s love?

Will we fear God rather than man?